Dominos
by KittyDaydreamer
Summary: Minako's breakdown causes unforeseen aftershocks. First two chapters take place before clouded sunshine, chapters 3 & 4 take place after it.
1. Mamoru's Observations

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. It belongs to Naoko Takeuchi and Toei. I make no moneys! *Hiss* (puts on fake cat ears and arches back)

Warnings: A lot of angst (in later chapters), another character death (Later chapter) mild language (still in a later chapter) and sexual themes (guess what? in a later chapter) Why did I put a warning on this chapter? _

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Chapter 1: Mamoru's observations

It's only when I hear Usagi shout, that I realize something has gone wrong.

"Sailor Venus!" She screamed. I could tell she had difficulty not saying Minako-chan. The monster, Kuroneko-nyan has its tail around Venus's middle, and as it tightens its grip, Minako's eyes slam shut like doors. I flick my wrist and the firm stem of a rose materializes between my fingers. With practiced precision, I let the rose fly from my hand like a dart, severing Kuroneko-nyan's tail. Sailor Mars catches Minako before she hits the ground. Usagi raises the Eternal Tiare and cries out:

"Starlight Honey-Moon Therapy Kiss!"

And Kuroneko-nyan is no more. We all rush to Mars and the unconscious Venus.

"What's wrong with her? Why won't she wake up?" Usagi asks. I don't think she notices it, but she's trembling.

"I don't know Sailor Moon." Mars says, a bit defensively "Tuxedo Mask, You're studying to become a doctor, What do you think is wrong?" She looks to me. I didn't realize just how much she cared about Minako until just now, seeing her normally unshakeable facade pinched with worry.

"Let's get her back to my apartment," I look closer, and see bags under her eyes, artfully covered with makeup that was smeared by the tears she was shedding in her sleep. "She might just be exhausted. Judging by the bags under her eyes, she hasn't gotten a good nights sleep in a while." I say, trying to reassure the senshi. Rei looks at Minako, and something about her gaze seems odd. Suspicious, maybe. Usagi is off in her own world, and I'm hit with a bit of loneliness. I feel like there are some parts of Usagi that I, a mortal man, will never be able to reach. I shake it off though, and we all roof-hop to my apartment. I carry Minako, and notice that she seems lighter than a woman of her strength and size should be. She hasn't been eating much either. I frown to myself, and wonder what's been bothering her. She hasn't been visiting with the others like she used to. My mind jumps to Kunzite, but I dismiss the idea. The senshi don't remember their connections to the shitennou. Or do they?

Once we get to my apartment, we all de-transform, and I lay Minako out on the couch. The senshi all seem tense. Usagi is still off in her own world, Rei keeps looking at Minako like she's trying to figure something out, Ami is looking around anxiously and Makoto looks discomforted by the others odd behavior. I go to the back room for the first aid kit, and my shitennou project from their stones. I guess they sensed the agitation in the air.

"My Prince, what's wrong?" Jadeite asks.

"Is there anything we can do to help?"Zoisite inquires.

"We are always ready to give you counsel." Nephrite quietly states.

The cool, collected Kunzite remains silent. I don't want to tell them, but if anyone could understand Venus, it would be Kunzite.

"It's Sailor Venus. While we were fighting a left over monster, she failed to dodge an attack and is now unconscious. It looks like she hasn't been eating or sleeping well."

The ever-silent Kunzite sighs with his eyes, his brothers-at-arms look at him sympathetically and flee to their individual stones.

"I think I know what the problem is, my prince. If you would leave me alone in the room with her..."

"Of course, Kunzite." Though he is my most stalwart protector, even I'm intimidated by Kunzite at times. He knows it too. A rare smirk comes to his face.

"Thank you," He bows, and returns to his stone.

I carry Kunzite's stone into the main room where the girls wait. Makoto pays no attention to Kunzite, but the sight seems to irritate Rei. Usagi's eyes widen, and Ami flinches before she sees the color.

"She'll be all right."I try to sound soothing. "She just needs some rest."

Makoto easily accepts the answer and leaves. Ami leaps at the chance to go and Rei imparts one last glare at Kunzite before she leaves. Usagi looks at me questioningly, I nod and we go to our bedroom together. It occurs to me that Usagi and I have never talked about the shitennou before. Is it possible that _Usagi_ doesn't remember? I let the idea rest because one look at Usagi tells me that now is not the time to talk. There will be time for that later.

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Next chapter: Usagi remembers a few things.


	2. Usagi's Memories

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon. it belongs to Naoko Takeuchi and Toei. I don't make any money from this story.

Warnings: All the stuff I wrote about in the first note. Still not the chapter the warnings apply to though. (Next chapter is why this story has an M rating.)

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Chapter 2: Usagi's Memories

When I saw Kuroneko-nyan grab Minako-chan, time seemed to stop. The indomitable Sailor Venus, the one that stabbed Beryl with the legendary sword _twice_, felled by such a weak monster? Seeing the fierce leader of my guardian senshi weakened, struggling with nightmares, causes an invisible wall in my mind to shatter like glass. Memories long untouched ripple through my mind. Memories I didn't want to remember. The tragic deaths of my guardian senshi. It's all I can do not to cry. We roof-hop to Mamo-chan's apartment, and I remain silent. The bodies, the screams flash in my mind, spinning like a demented carousel I can't get off . Rei-chan. Ami-chan. Mako-chan. Mamo-chan. Me. What happened to Minako-chan, the last senshi standing. I never knew.

With the memories of their deaths, come memories of their personal lives. I can't believe I didn't remember. My senshi, in love with Mamo-chan's shitennou. Was that destiny too? The elegant and fiery Rei with the dedicated and passionate Jadeite. Intelligent and subdued Ami with the clever and impulsive Zoisite. The gentle and heroic Makoto, and the spiritual and introverted Nephrite. Dutiful and loving Minako... with the stoic and dutiful Kunzite. Now as I look at my fellow senshi, I'm struck with the sense of loss I had forcefully forgotten for so long. Memories come unbidden, of the times we were happy together on the moon, when we were all happily in love.

My thirteenth birthday, the year I finally caught up to my senshi in physical age. They had been thirteen for at least one hundred years. Citizens of the planetary alliance began to age slower after they were in existence for thirteen years. Adolescence was a great deal easier back then, change came slower, and was easier to deal with. The thirteenth birthday was the most significant back then. It was a huge party and all the royalty of the planetary alliance were in attendance. I met the Venusian King and Queen. I can still see them now, glowing specters dancing, flirting, radiant in their happiness. I wanted to be like them. Somewhere deep down, I still do. Even after hundreds of years together they were still madly in love. Darting about the ball room, dancing with nobles, we giggled like the young girls we were. We had no idea what horrid fates awaited us in a few hundred years. One physical year. It seems like it should have been a long time, but we lived by different standards then. It was all too short a time to live. It was all too soon that it went wrong. One physical year later, at the ball celebrating my fourteenth birthday, we allowed Earth nobles to begin negotiating with us. That was the beginning of the end. I wouldn't change it if I could. Even with all the pain we went though, the joy we experienced, the things we learned, were worth it. I know that now. I refuse to believe that love between my senshi, my friends, and the shitennou, was destined to end in tragedy. I believe in the future. I believe in us.

The girls leave and Mamo-chan and I go to our room. I still haven't spoken, and honestly I'm at a loss at what to say. Mamo-chan hasn't pressed me, even though he's noticed my uncharacteristic silence. One of the best things about Mamo-chan is that he knows when words don't work.

I think about Minako-chan, sleeping in the other room, with Kunzite's stone on the table in front of her. What happened to her? Why didn't I notice something was wrong? Guilt lashes at me. **I** didn't remember the connection between the senshi and shitennou because I didn't _**want**_ to be sad. I can't believe how selfish that is. I choke back tears, and the sleeping Mamo-chan throws his arm over me. I draw comfort from it, but this too makes me feel guilty. My senshi cannot know comfort like this now. Do they all remember? If they remember, why haven't they told me? What if they tried to tell me, and I didn't understand? I think back, and try to recall anything that hinted that my senshi remembered. Rei... Rei killed Jadeite. I don't think she remembered then, but now? She was looking so sadly at Minako-chan. She glared at Kunzite's stone. If I were in a better mood, that would have made me laugh. Rei never did like Kunzite. They were alike, but wildly different in their methods. They both always thought that their way was the only way. Ami-chan... she seemed so uncomfortable in the apartment. That doesn't mean she remembers, but the way she looked when Mamo-chan brought out Kunzite...

I don't think Mako-chan remembers. I think Minako-chan has remembered for a very long time. I wish I had known, had not been so afraid to remember. It hurts to think about Minako-chan, struggling with the heavy burden of the past, all alone. I swear, I'll do whatever it takes to make this right. I believe that shitennou deserve a second chance. With these resolutions, I drift into a fitful sleep, and dream of the past.

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Next chapter: Rei thinks about stuff, and remembers even more things!


	3. Rei's Reaction

Chapter 3: Rei's reaction

Disclaimer: I do not own annnnnnyyyything. (except my totally awesome brooch and action figure!) I make no money off of this story. Sailor Moon belongs to Toei and Naoko Takeuchi.

Warnings: This is the chapter with the gory death, a bit of cursing, hinted sexual stuff and angst. angst. angst.

The name Raina is pronounced Ray-nah.

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I don't remember how I got back to the shrine. All I can see is Minako, sleeping, twitching like she was having a nightmare. Ojiisan is asleep. It's a good thing he sleeps like the dead.

"Damn it!"

I bang my hand on the floor before the sacred fire. I want answers. I have answers, I only wish they were different.

"Why didn't I notice something was wrong? I could have helped... I could have..."

"No, you couldn't have done anything." The snarky part of mind answers, the part that has come to sound like Him. Jadeite. With the walls of denial coming down around us, I might as well let myself remember. Refusing to think of him by name doesn't change anything.

That part of my mind is right, of course, but I don't want to accept it. There are a lot of things I don't want to accept. I struggle to keep my mind facing the future. I don't want to dwell on "if only"s. I slip into meditation, ignoring the cynical part of me. In my meditation, for the first time since my memories returned, I directly confront the memory of my death.

I was guarding the front gate of the palace and I saw them coming from a distance. I saw Jadeite, leading an army of youma. I didn't want to believe what I already knew. The sacred fire's prediction of betrayal had come true. I could have killed him from afar with my flaming arrows, but I hesitated. I ruined everything. I thought that maybe if I confronted him, I could shock him out of the brainwashing, but I was wrong. I know that now. The man I had loved wasn't in there anymore. The kingdom would have fallen, even without my mistake, but I feel guilty for making it so much easier for those monsters. I was such a fool. I tense in anger at myself. Jadeite is before me. It's too late to use an arrow, so I ready my sutras and twin wrist-blades. I don't want to hurt him, but when I catch sight of his soulless eyes, a shiver travels up my spine, and deep down I know it's hopeless. I've always hated no-win situations. I refuse to accept them, and it usually makes things worse.

"Jadeite, it's me, Mars. Raina, Remember?"

He opens his mouth, throws back his head and laughs, like I'm too weak to be bothered with. It makes me angry. Acrid acidic darkness streams out of his mouth, and I make a shield of my sutras.

"Why don't you get out of my way, pretty fire-bird, and I'll let you live as my pet."

"Never." I growl "This isn't you! Wake up Jadeite! I don't want to have to hurt you!"

"It's too bad I have no such reservations. Too bad for you,"

He laughs and fashions a sword made of darkness. He dives towards me and like a flame, I dance out of the way, but the shadow sword... grazed my side. It... burns me... as it cuts. A weapon made of evil. I gasp. Tears swim in my eyes as I realize without a doubt that he cannot be brought back to himself. I am numb. For Serenity, I find my resolve. I throw a seal, to try to immobilize him but that... thing in his body knows my fighting style and dodges. It isn't until my throat is sore that I realize that I've been screaming. For a while our fight moved like a perfectly choreographed dance, but I began to tire, and he.. it.. did not. One misstep, and he has me I feel the dark blade burning through my stomach before I see it. It cauterized the wound it made, leaving the dark acid to eat away at my insides. I sag forward and the thing that used to be Jadeite laughs and moves to pull out the blade and reopen my wounds. I'm having difficulty breathing as the poison spreads and my vision grows dark. It's like looking through a tunnel for a pinprick of light. I nearly close my eyes and sleep, but the light reminds me of Serenity and I summon all I have left. I find my arms, far away, and pour all my remaining strength into a surprise, simultaneous swing up. My impossibly sharp wrist-blades hit their mark, and what was once Jadeite's body collapses atop of me, its throat cut. I laugh, a hoarse, shaky, bitter laugh as I feel myself dying, connected by a sword to him that I killed. He that used to love me so. The monsters race over our bodies and through the gate, and my greatest regret is that I failed my princess. My eyes close and I know nothing.

I gasp back into awareness of the current day and know that I won't sleeping tonight. I try to remember better days, but find that almost all of those involved Jadeite. When I was young, My Father, the King of Mars, was struck down in battle. My mother was Sailor Mars, and so could not be Queen to her people. I, the only royal left was isolated by my high birth and my unusual connection with the sacred fire. I was a child older than her years, and that intimidated other children and made adults uncomfortable. The instant my mother died, the power of Sailor Mars manifested in me. Such an inheritance of power was unusual, and it took me from the throne of Mars. I went to live as Sailor Mars on the Moon, and there I met Serenity. My princess. From the moment I saw the baby Serenity I knew I would do anything to protect her. As Sailor Mars, I made my first friend, Sailor Venus. She was outgoing, if a bit self-absorbed, and she didn't find me intimidating. She passed through my boundaries as if they were air, and was surprised when I refused to let her walk all over me. We recognized each other as equals and were close friends. As close as we senshi were back then, we didn't know each others birth names. Back then, once a girl became a senshi, she was not supposed to be anything _but_ a senshi. We all broke that rule, but I think I was the only one that remembered her birth name. Before I was Sailor Mars, I was Raina, the child priestess of the sacred fire.

On the moon I had finally found a place to belong. And when the shitennou came, I found love. Jadeite... just thinking his name hurts. I never did think Kunzite was good enough for Venus. Venus was vibrant and so... alive and Kunzite was a stone that seemed to accept her love without enjoyment, or giving anything back. Now.. he really is a stone. I snort at that. It's not fair of me to resent Kunzite when I never knew the details of their relationship but we just... clashed. Irrationally I always felt that he and Endymion were stealing away my closest friends.

I sigh, and decide to go to Minako's apartment tomorrow. Knowing her, once she wakes to see Kunzite, she won't stay at Usagi and Mamoru's apartment. I glance up at the sacred fire, seeking answers I know I won't find, and see an image of me and Jadeite... but... we look different... My head spins, and I spiral into memories so old and buried that even as Princess Mars I was unaware of them.

The first thing I remember is the sacred fire, dancing within a meticulously carved stone altar. The carvings are of sacred dances, and the cycle of life. I am known only as priestess, and I am one of those that tend the sacred fire on earth. I was in the middle of a reading, and could only see death and despair. There is a petitioner outside, seeking my reading of the fire. I see these memories through the eyes I had back then, but at the same time, as if I were a different person. I can watch and feel but I cannot influence.

"Well, Priestess?"

"All I can see is death." I, the past me, responds solemnly.

"Death of what? The kingdom, the harvest, the people? Surely a priestess of your renown sees more than just death?" The palace messenger asks, giving me a look I was too familiar with back then. He was a short caricature of a person, with a shrill voice that seemed to assume that volume was the same thing as authority. He could have been an attractive man, if he bothered to care for his appearance. Priestess knew his type all too well.

"No sir, I do not. Do not presume that precision is possible when dealing with a power you do not understand. Good day. Sir." I wish I could change the past. I want to punch this ignorant presumptuous clown. I marvel at my past self's restraint.

"You'll hear more about this! I am not to be dismissed in such a manner, not even by a priestess! I demand to see a priest!" The more outraged he got, the less intimidating he was.

"You do not make demands on sacred ground. There are no priests here. Good. Day. Sir.

She said through her teeth. Unlike the pompous fool, She **was** intimidating. The royal servant leaves in anger. Anger at being emasculated, and anger at being frightened. That was the beginning of the end. I did not know it then. Another "other" voice joins my modern-day voice. It's the experienced voice of my past self, the Priestess, and the voice of Princess Mars.

"Wait, why do you have a separate voice from mine? We are the same person aren't we?"

The combination of my past selves answer me "We are you. We are... the part of your mind you cannot usually access. The part has always remembered the past. The part that always will. This is part of what was hurting Minako. She touched that part of herself before she was ready, and she came to think of it as a separate person. She'll be all right now. Kunzite, a bridge between the past and the present, realigned her consciousness."

"How do you know things that I don't?"

"We are your memories, your past experience. You, the you that you are everyday, have not remembered everything yet. You probably never will. That is what makes reincarnation a fresh start."  
The manifestation of my memories seems to turn away form me. I follow it, and the playback of the past resumes.

Weeks after the palace messenger left in anger, a Priest was sent to join us, under the King's orders. The sight of him took my breath away. Tousled, golden hair like the sun, lively blue eyes, and a youthful but defined face. Like us, he had no name, only Priest. I never believed I'd fall in love. It would have been better for me if I hadn't. Men had paid court to me in the past, but only for the status it would give them. The people, the ones who could not commune with the sacred fire, built a religion around the fire. A religion that took away the identities and freedoms of those that could understand the fire. We were not allowed to marry, or act on love or lust. The sacred fire did not place these restrictions on us. The people who out-numbered us, feared us and our power were the ones that placed those chains upon us. I, the me that I am now, want to look away. I sense that this will not end happily. I still watch, to learn what I can from this forgotten past of mine. The other me smiles in approval. It makes me smirk. I always have been rather proud.

One night, Priest and I spoke to each other. Every night after that we would talk. More and more. Closer and closer. Eventually we defied those that restrained us out of fear. I remember one of those nights in particular.

He plays with my hands as we lay before the fire.

"Do you remember your name?" He asks, quietly. Everything we do is quiet.

"I do. Do you remember yours?"

He looks up, the fire glinting off his eyes. The firelight did not steal his gentleness then.

"Yes, I remember. My name was Jade, after the stones that made my father rich. What was your name?"

Shadows flicker in the corners of the room, a breeze drifts in and I draw closer to him and the fire. "My name was Ray, because I was a ray of sunshine in my mother's dark life."

Priest, no...Jade pulls me into his arms and plays with my long black hair. "Do you remember what life was like before you became Priestess?"

"Not much, only that my mother was often sad, but loved me very much. Do you remember?" I turn my head up towards him and I feel my long hair whisper across my back. I can't bear to look at the fire promising death, so I look at Jade, and his life filled eyes. His face grows dark.

"Yes, I remember. My powers did not manifest as early as yours did. My father was a cold man, like the stones he named me for. He never spoke to me except to reprimand, and I only saw him when he wanted to show me off as his heir. My mother was gentle and lonely, and spent most of her time with me."

"I am sorry, Jade."

"You don't need to be sorry, Ray. I got to meet you, after all." He smiles, trying to lighten the mood, and of course, he succeeds. The man always could make me smile.

"What do you see when you look in the fire?" I ask, reluctantly, fearing the answering, even as I knew I needed to know it.

"I see death." He looks at me in askance, experiencing the same feelings I had.

"So do I."

The memory goes out of focus and speeds into a quick kaleidoscope of sound and color. One morning I woke up feeling ill. It continued for a few days and I dismissed it as a passing illness. But my monthly Blood did not come. I was with child. Jade and I planned and prepared to escape, and as the months went by my stomach grew. I tried to hide it, we were careful not to be seen together making plans, but some priestess must have overheard us. Our escape was foiled and we were taken prisoner. Our judge and jailer was none other than the pompous palace fool I had been cold to.

"Well, well, It seems that the high and mighty "sacred" Priestess is actually a common witch. Hah! I should have known, based on the way you treated me!"

My past self did just what I would do. She spat on him. He backhanded me.

"Witch! Know this: Once your child is born, you and your warlock lover will be put to death for violating the laws of the sacred fire! Until then, you are mine to do with as I please." He laughs, and I can see the evil madness in his aura that was hidden from me before. This man was going to have Jade and I killed. The death the fire had been warning us of. The months in the monster's possession were nightmarish. If not for Jade and my child, I would have welcomed death. Jade was kept nearby, so that he would hear everything the monster did to me. I did my best to remain silent, the only act of defiance I had left. The memories seem unending, and I nearly lose myself in them.

Finally, the imprisonment comes to an end. I give birth to a beautiful daughter with Jade's sun hair and my fire eyes. Jade and I were taken to a deep lake, where they tied large stones to our legs. The rocks were dropped off the dock, and we were pulled under with them. They drowned us, because they believed it would prevent us from ever living in the warmth and light of the sacred fire. They meant yo separate us, but in the cold, dark lake, Jade's hand found mine. We died together. The next time my eyes open. I am an infant on Mars.

I jolt from the memories the sacred fire reawakened within me.

"What happened to out daughter?' I ask it, in a shaky whisper. Feeling that I do not want to know the answer, I watch anyway, as the fire reveals her fate in greater detail than is normal. The man who killed us, the man who coveted me, raped me, tortured Jade, kept her as his own. He never told her about me or Jade, but he didn't hurt her. She lived a fulfilling life, but the man had invested his evil power in her. Jade's blood and mine kept the evil dormant, but as the fire shows me her descendants, the blood diluted further with each generation, ending with a woman with curly black hair. Beryl. My throat freezes. It... It was all our fault... If we hadn't fallen in love... Beryl never would have existed. She wouldn't have sided with Metalia... The world seems dark to me, and I crawl to bed in despair. Still, I keep strong my resolve, so that the screams stay inside, at least for tonight. So I can act normal tomorrow. I cry myself to sleep, allowing myself to be weak, just for tonight. I wish Jadeite was here.

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Woo! That was a long one.

Next chapter: Usagi, Minako, and Rei talk.


	4. Don't bottle it up

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon or Codename: Sailor V, they belong to Naoko Takeuchi and Toei. I make no money.

Thanks to Malevolent Dark Reflection for the review. :)

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Chapter 4: Don't bottle it up

When Usagi wakes up in the morning, Mamoru has already left. She rises, luxuriating in the warmth of the bed, when the memories of the previous night hit her like a truck. She bolts out of bed, shivers when her bare feet touch the icy floor. She goes out into the living room, expecting to see Minako on the couch, and is surprised to see only Kunzite's stone in the room. She touches the stone, curious, and the shade of Kunzite appears. Usagi takes an instinctual step back. Kunzite notices, but since it's Usagi, the future queen, the savior of his prince, He doesn't try to intimidate her any further.

"My Queen?" He asks deferentially. She is the one his prince has chosen, and she is a force of good in her own right, so she has his respect.

"I'm not queen yet Kunzite, just call me Usagi" Usagi replies, with a bit of a pout. Queen makes her feel old. It reminds her of responsibility yet to come. And Usagi doesn't want subjects, she wants friends.

"Of course, Usagi. Why did you call me?" Kunzite always had been blunt.

"I didn't mean to, didn't even know I could, but since you're here... can I... would you mind... what happened to Minako?" Usagi asked awkwardly. She didn't want to seem nosy, but she wanted to know if there was anything she could do to help her friend.

If anyone other than Usagi had asked, Kunzite would not have answered, knowing that Minako would prefer to tell her friends when she felt that she was ready. However, Kunzite thought that if anyone should know what happened, it's Usagi. Though he would not like to admit it, Kunzite was still worried about Minako, and he believed that Usagi would be the best person to help Minako.

"Minako was suffering from an unbalanced identity. She awakened to her past as Sailor Venus earlier than it was healthy for her to remember. She came to view her memories as the memories of a different person. It split her personality, and her past life's personality, Sailor Venus was becoming dominant. It was exhausting her with nightmares about the past. When she saw me last night, her past connected with the present, using me as a bridge. She knows who she is now. After she had her revelation, she left." Kunzite finished, not allowing his discomfort at sharing such personal, emotion-laden information to show on his face.

"So she'll be alright now?" Usagi asked, refusing to acknowledge the awkwardness of conversation, like only she could. Kunzite mentally grinds his teeth, on the outside, he is emotionless as ever.

"The cause of the problem is fixed... but I think that someone should speak to her to be sure."

Usagi senses Kunzite's hesitation, his concern for Minako, and his worry that he has no right to be involved in Minako's life. She smiles reassuringly (or at least she hopes that it is reassuring),

"I'll go over to see her" Usagi goes to the bedroom to get dressed, but before she does she turns and asks "Did you see Mamoru leave?"

"Yes, he left half-an-hour ago for his morning jog."

"Ah.. okay. Well... I'm going to change and go to Minako's so..." Usagi looks at the stone, unsure how to ask about it, wondering if Kunzite is going to go back or just float around in the house.

Kunzite gives her the out she was looking for, and bull-dozes over the awkwardness, knowing Usagi (and he) would be more comfortable if they ignored it.

"Before you go, could you place my stone with the others? I need to speak with them."

"Sure." Usagi replies, and Kunzite fades away. Usagi places the stone on its altar, goes to change clothes, and walks to Minako's apartment building.

During the walk to Minako's apartment building, Usagi watched the world around her, looking for something she couldn't explain. She sensed change coming, blazing across the sky like a shooting star. She knew instinctively that the change would be big and permanent. She took pictures of the now in her mind; the people exiting restaurants, the teen girls looking at store mannequins with envy in their eyes, so like the way she used to. At Minako's door, Usagi hesitates before she knocks. What should she say? What can she say? She takes the plunge and knocks, deciding she'll figure it out as she goes. The Minako who answers the door is not the usual happy-go-lucky Minako. Usagi is sad to see her friend unhappy, but is relieved that the pretenses are over.

"Usagi, come in." Minako's voice is hoarse. Usagi feels bad, she probably woke her up. She and Minako sit down on the couch and Usagi looks down at her hands, at a loss for words.

"I guess you want to know what happened, huh?" Minako begins, clearing her throat. Usagi thinks that Minako seems less... fragile. She's hurting, but she has something she didn't have before, hope. Usagi hadn't noticed its absence until it was back, glittering in Minako's eyes like a solitary star. Minako has a bitter, self-mocking smile on her face, but she isn't hiding anymore.

After a long pause, Usagi replies "Yes... If you don't mind telling me."

Minako seems relieved to finally get the story off her chest, and begins.

'Alright... It'd be best if I started at the beginning. When I was thirteen, Artemis found me and gave me the power to become Sailor V. Along the way I met a young man named Saitou. I liked him, and he seemed somehow... familiar to me... but, I'm getting off track. I met a hero named Kaitou Ace. He was my Tuxedo Mask, or at least he seemed to be, but it turned out he was an enemy, the reincarnation of a Venusian soldier that had been in love with me. My memories of my past life returned, triggered by his trap, a movie set that resembled the Moon Palace. We fought, and before he died, he gave me a love fortune : "Your love... will never be granted, for all eternity."

After that,"Minako's voice breaks. "After that, I lived and worked as if I were Sailor Venus. I became a different person when I was Sailor Venus, because I came to think of "Minako" as a false identity, a disguise to hide me until I awakened. It.. split me, I didn't think my life as "Minako" was my real self anymore. I was able to hide it when we had enemies to fight, but recently... the past m- the separate identity of Sailor Venus was reliving the end, over and over. I couldn't sleep at night, or I'd have nightmares. It was draining me. Last night... the exhaustion made me weak. I dreamed of the past as I slept, and when I woke... Kunzite was there. When I saw him, unchanged from how Sailor Venus remembered him, looking at me the same way he used to... I saw the red string of fate between us and it was like a link... between the past me and the present me. And then Venus wasn't a separate person anymore. I, Minako Aino, am Sailor Venus." Minako stopped, got up, and got two glasses of water. She offered one to Usagi and she took it, so she could have something to do with her hands.

"So what is hurting you now?" Usagi asked, because the pain in Minako's eyes was plain to see. Minako's hand tightened around her glass and her knuckles turned white. She looked down, and her bangs obscured her face. She said through her teeth: "I... have failed... so many times.. to protect you... as is my job as leader of the inner senshi. I've lost count of the times you have had to face an enemy alone because I was dead or too weak to help you. I have failed to fulfill my duty. I've failed my lost home planet, your former mother Queen Serenity, my fellow senshi, and most of all I have failed you. I should be punished, but there is no Queen, no council of planets now. I would resign as Sailor Venus if there was anyone capable of taking my place.

"Don't ever say that!" Usagi cried, "You are my friend! I wouldn't trust anyone else in your place. It's not your fault. You can't always protect me Minako, and you've saved me just as many times as I've saved you. Maybe more." Usagi takes a sip of her water, and calms down. Usagi knows that nothing she can say can soothe doubts like Minako's away. Ultimately, no one can improve your self-esteem but you. Minako has to learn to value herself again on her own, the most Usagi can do is be there for her and give her opportunities to prove herself.

* * *

Earlier, at Hikawa shrine, Rei Hino awoke, puffy-eyed, from a short and troubled sleep. She goes through the motions of the morning routine, puts on a smile to say good morning and goodbye to her grandfather, and leaves to go to Minako's apartment. Inside, Rei feels a wall of ice around her heart. She hones it, transforms it into armor that makes her natural grace sharper, colder, and painfully beautiful. She does not believe that she deserves happiness with Jadeite, and has resigned herself to life alone. She doesn't know what to say to Minako. She doesn't plan to tell anyone what she learned, and hopes she doesn't run into Usagi for a few days. If she saw Usagi too soon, Usagi would be able to get past the wall of ice she put up. Rei wants to be strong. Rei has to be strong, by herself. Rei gets to Minako's apartment in a daze, but snaps into awareness when she hears Usagi's voice through the door, "Don't ever say that!". Rei almost turns and leaves, but finds her feet rooted to the spot, her arm rising to knock in the silence of a lull in conversation. With a mind of its own, her hand forms a loose fist, and knocks. Rei wonders if it's that old part of her, the one that spoke to her when she was lost in memories. It's so quiet she can hear someone get off the couch and pad, barefoot, to the door.

It's Minako who answers. Rei can't say she's shocked by Minako's disheveled appearance. Minako looks the way that Rei feels.

"Oh. Rei. Come in." Rei does. Usagi takes one look at Rei and knows that something is wrong. Minako seems to get this information from Usagi's eyes and doesn't continue what she was going to say. Rei comes in, and sits on the side of the couch away from Usagi.

"I came to see if you were alright, Minako-chan." Rei says, with forced brightness that is all too noticeable.

"I am. You, on the other hand, do not seem to be alright." Minako states, done with pretenses.

Rei is not done pretending yet. "I don't know what you mean."

"You came to get me to spill my guts, it's only fair of you to do the same. So spill, what's wrong?" Minako demonstrates a bluntness that reminds Rei and Usagi of Kunzite. It amuses Usagi and irritates Rei. Minako continues when Rei stares blankly at the wall. "All three of us remember that the inner senshi were in relationships with Endymion's shitennou, and we were all betrayed and killed by our lovers. That reminds me, Usagi, does Mamoru remember?"

Usagi ponders it. "He's never mentioned it to me, but because he brought Kunzite out to see you last night, I'd say that he does."

"That makes sense." Minako replies. Usagi suspects that Minako is so eager to question Rei because she doesn't want to talk about what she said earlier.

Rei looks down at her feet. "Since we all know now, and we all know that we all know, I might as well admit that its was my fault the Moon Kingdom fell."

Minako waves off the statement. "Even though you fell while guarding the front gate, it's not your fault the monsters got in, they got all of us. Mercury died while guarding the back gate, then Jupiter died while raining lighting down on our enemies from the roof. Serenity killed herself after Beryl killed Endymion, I killed Beryl with the sword, and was then killed battling the body that used to be Kunzite." Rei flinched when Minako said Beryl. Both Usagi and Minako noticed. Usagi looked sheepish when her suicide was mentioned.

Usagi is the first to speak. "Rei, why do you blame yourself for what happened?" Usagi gives Rei such a look of trust and acceptance that Rei's wall of ice breaks.

Rei bites her lip, lets her dark bangs obscure her face and speaks. Minako gets Rei a glass of water. "I... I remembered something last night. Something more than what happened on the moon. Something from... before..."

"You had a life before you were Princess Mars?" Usagi asks, surprisingly unsurprised.

"Yes", Rei continues, " I had been a priestess on earth. The people did not allow priestesses and priests to marry, and well... one day I met Jadeite. We fell in love and went against the rules the people set for us. I got pregnant, the people, one evil official in particular found out... and after our daughter was born, Jadeite and I were executed. We were reborn. Our daughter lived, and the evil man who trapped us, and tortured me raised her. He tried to turn her evil but our blood was too strong. However, with each descendant, our blood's power waned. The last descendant... was Beryl." tears begin to well up in Rei's eyes and run down her face, " So you see? It was my fault all along. If I had never loved Jadeite, Beryl never would have existed. She wouldn't have taken Metalia's power and destroyed the Moon Kingdom. She wouldn't have been reborn and attempted to do it again." Rei becomes silent, and refuses to look Usagi or Minako in the eye. Usagi and Minako are speechless. Usagi gets over it first. She moves, and wraps her arm around Rei's shoulder.

"Let me tell you something, both of you blame yourselves for things you could have done nothing to prevent. As Serenity, you all knew me as a naïve, trouble-making princess interested in nothing but her own love life. The reason I was so willing to risk everything to be with Endymion, even for one moment, is because I knew there was nothing to lose."

If the situation weren't so serious, Usagi would laugh at the simultaneous "What?" and the matching confused looks on Minako and Rei's faces.

"My mother, Queen Serenity, had been teaching me about the politics of the planetary alliance. For thousands of years, the alliance was becoming increasingly bureaucratic. The ruler of the Moon, the most neutral party of the alliance, was slowly being stripped of political power. There were no royal rulers on Uranus, Neptune, Pluto, or Mars. The servants ruling Mars would have had you killed if you hadn't become Sailor Mars, Rei. The decrease in cooperation between the planets was leading to a decline in technology of Jupiter, and the planet's storms were becoming fiercer. If they had continued unchecked, they would have eventually made the planet uninhabitable. My mother knew that things would not have lasted much longer. So I knew that things were not going to last. Even if... even if Beryl had never existed... had never become one with Metalia... the Silver Millennium would have come to an end anyway. It's not your fault, either of you. One way or another, it would have ended, there was nothing anyone could do." The shell-shocked looks on girls faces don't amuse Usagi this time. They are evidence of a worldview shifted, an idyllic picture of their past wiped away. Though it cleared them of blame, it did not absolve their internal guilt, but it allowed them to speak aloud the feelings and misconceptions they had been bottling up inside for so long. And to have their secret fears comforted reconnected them, and made them realize how disconnected they had become.

"I'm sorry I killed your great-great-great-great...granddaughter Rei." Minako choked out.

"S'okay, she deserved it." Rei says, sniffling just a little bit.

"I'm sorry for doing it again when she was reborn." Minako says.

"S'okay, she deserved it that time too." Rei says, smiling a little bitterly. They hug and hide their tears in each others shoulders. Usagi lets them have their moment, and lets the tears well up in her own eyes. For a moment she recalls a time when her hair was silver, and the tears were caused by the sight of her beloved Endymion dying. Now, like then, she bites her lower lip. But unlike then, now she does not scream. Usagi keeps the screams inside now, most of the time. She nurtures an effervescent optimism, doing her best to light up the people around her. Usagi tries not to dwell very long on sadness. She does her best to live every moment, grateful to be alive. By the time Rei and Minako notice Usagi's absence, she has stopped crying. They invite her into the hug too.

After they've all calmed down, They sit on the couch, silent in the aftermath of their revelations. "I think... that there must be a way bring the shitennou back to life." Usagi says. "They were reborn, before Beryl brought them back into her service. We came back. We came back even after falling into the galaxy cauldron. I think the shitennou are meant to be a part of the new world, to be there for Mamoru the way all of you are here for me."

Hurt and feeling guilty the way they are, Rei and Minako think the possibility is too good to be true.

"How can they be part of the future? While we were there we didn't see any evidence that they were alive." Minako asks, not unreasonably.

"They might have been asleep like the people, or they might have been hidden from us, to avoid changing the past. Even if they weren't part of the future when we visited, the future can change. We've proved that. I think it's entirely possible that we can find a way to bring them back." Usagi speaks earnestly, her voice making the promises she couldn't trust to words.

"Always an optimist, Usagi." Rei chides jokingly, proudly, with a smile in her voice and on her face. Her tone renders Usagi's name affectionately, like she would be ruffling Usagi's hair if she was a young child.

"I think... we should keep an eye on Ami and Makoto. If we pay attention, we might see the signs of their memories returning before it gets so bad that they suffer a break down." Usagi says unwillingly. She doesn't want to spy on her friends, but she doesn't want them to be unhappy.

"Yes, I think that would be for the best." Minako states, her mind on the pros and cons of the situation.

"I... think I should go. Mamoru is probably back from his jog now, and he needs to know what we've decided."

"I should be going too, Ojiisan is probably scaring away customers at the shrine. You can come and help out if you want, Minako. It might be good to get out of the house."

"Yes, I think I will. Give me a few minutes to get dressed?"

"Of course Minako."

"Bye Minako, Bye Rei."

"Bye Usagi." Minako and Rei call.

Usagi walks out the door, and Minako and Rei listen to it close. Minako goes to change in her room and they think about the conversation they just had.

* * *

Another long one. What I think I'm going to do (not entirely sure yet), is write a oneshot about Ami, and then a chapter or two (of Dominos, keeping with the theme.) about the aftermath of what happens to Ami. Then I'll do the same for Makoto. I'm also planing to do a oneshot for Sailor Uranus's birthday next week. I also have school work (eeeevil research paper *hiss*), so please bear with me. The Uranus oneshot will most likely be done first.

'Till next time! Meow. :)


End file.
